Superhero as a Girlfriend

The following is in response to a random blog I found about a girl trying to figure out which superhero she preferred as a lover. I think she settled on Aquaman, because she liked seafood and Aquaman would have easy access to it. That, and he wouldn't have to come up for air too often. It inspired me to start up a blog of my own so I too could talk about senseless things, and hopefully brush up on my writing in the process.

Although I am a guy and a geek, I never really thought about a superhero lover until my friend Silver sat me down and forced me to watch Mallrats, which is easily Kevin Smith's best movie. When Brodie started talking about the breeding possibilities of Superman and Lois Lane, it sparked a discussion between us.

My friend Silver is female, and she chose Wolverine as her lover. "Other than the fact that he has metal claws, he's pretty much a normal guy, you know." Silver is a very practical girl.

Since I was a Jehovah's Witness as a child, comics were forbidden, so my list of superhero women was rather short.

The Invisible Girl from the Fantastic Four movie was right out, as she could turn invisible and spy on me. Call me crazy, but I don't like to fart in front of girls, let alone my invisible girlfriend. It's just... akward.

The girls from the X-Men movie were even less promising. One girl can read your dirty, lustful, wandering mind, one girl can kill you with a touch, and the other was played by Halle Berry. (Sorry, I'm not a fan of her attitude in the last X-Men movie. Her haircut was nice, though.)

Which brings me to Catwoman. I'll be horribly honest here. I liked her as the normal girl, but not as the cropped-hair superhero. It's not that I'm uncomfortable around dominant woman, but come on, cats are serious creatures. Catwoman as done by Halle Berry lost control, went on a fashion rampage, and was altogether a very bad cat.

I finally decided on waiting for Raven from the Teen Titans on Cartoon Network to turn 21. Silver assures me that all of the Titans are 18, but I'm no fool.

Why Raven? Aside from the fact that she can teleport us beers from the fridge when we're marathoning anime DVDs, she'll be on call a lot as a superhero, and that would probably work well with my erratic writing schedual. And she seems like a laid-back, low-profile superhero, despite the fact that she's currently gallivanting about in tights and a cape. Once she's out of Goth phase and is of legal drinking age, I'll totally give her my number.